What does Anxiety look like?

I found myself thinking back to the days when I didn’t know what anxiety was, nor understand what I was experiencing. So, it got me thinking, I don’t think I’m the first not to know what it was or understand how and why my body was reacting to it either.

I think most of us have experienced anxiety at some point. But what I think goes unnoticed is the different types of anxiety.

When I say that most of us have experienced it at some point, I’m referring to that excited, nervous type of anxiety. When you’re hyped up before experiencing an exciting and extreme sport like sky diving, or maybe it’s a volleyball tournament or a wakeboarding competition. Maybe it’s a first date, a first kiss, or you’re nervous to see someone, just because it’s them. When you are about to head into a job interview for a position you want, and you feel butterflies in your stomach or you’re so nervous you feel a little sick.

What you are experiencing is anxiety.

I call this the easy, fun side of anxiety that isn’t often spoken about. Because it’s not a problem, it’s not an issue.

It’s a type of anxiety that’s in anticipation of something great. It doesn’t last long and can be over within moments.

The type of anxiety that I didn’t understand was the other more common and a lot more destructive type.

I remember talking to my best friend, and I was telling her about some weird feelings I was having. Different types of reactions my body was having to different situations. Some of it was warranted for what I was heading into, but others didn’t make sense to me.

My hands would shake, and/or sweat for no reason. My heart felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest. Sometimes breathing would be difficult, and I would experience shortness of breath. My chest would go tight and could hurt. I would often feel sick, I could be so nauseous I would almost vomit.

These symptoms could occur all at once or only one at a time. Either way, I didn’t understand what I was feeling or why.

I remember when she told me she thought I was suffering from anxiety.

I remember feeling shock, and then complete denial.

I didn’t want any part of it. It almost felt like she’d told me I had a terminal disease. I thought if she was right, it was going to be the worst thing possible that could happen to me. I didn’t need it, have time for it, nor want it in my life.

So, I did what any person in denial did. I ignored it and avoided talking about it at all costs.

Until one day I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Until one day, it reared its ugly head in a way I could not ignore.

For so long I ignored my symptoms, I pushed it all down so deep I thought I was fine. But one day I was out with my family, I walked into a major department store to discover they had changed the layout of the store.

Not a big deal, right?

Well, it was at that moment my body went into a full-blown anxiety attack.

I suddenly felt very uneasy, and for some reason, I didn’t feel safe.

I was so uncomfortable I could no longer stay in the store and had to leave and wait for the rest of my family to meet me.

I had this strange feeling wrap its way around my chest and throat, and not only was my chest incredibly tight, but I felt like I was choking on the panic that was consuming me.

But I couldn’t figure out why.

Surely the layout of a store didn’t have that much meaning to me, right?

Turns out, that store, that change in layout, was only the trigger for the anxiety attack. Not the reason for it. Unfortunately, that anxiety attack lasted three days.

It was then I knew I had to get help. It was then I started my ‘official’ journey with anxiety.

I had no choice but to learn about what my body was trying to tell me.

I learned that I could treat my symptoms in different ways.

Some are treated with techniques taught to me by psychologists and counselors. Other times, I’ve needed more medical intervention.

Over the years I’ve learned a lot about my anxiety, I learned about my body’s reaction to it, so it has become easier to recognize the symptoms of an attack. Sometimes I can catch it, other times I’m not so lucky. Each time though, I’m still learning new things about myself, new triggers, and new ways of managing it.

If you are like me, and your body is telling you something isn’t right, listen to it. If someone mentions anxiety to you, don’t ignore it.

Anxiety isn’t a lifelong sentence. It’s treatable.

But not treating the cause of it can be far more costly than doing so. Trust me, I know.

Over time I’ll cover more on anxiety. Some will be stories of how I managed it, what my triggers were, and what I’ve learned over time in how to manage it.

I want to help. Because I know what it feels like to go it alone. I don’t want that for you, so please feel free to contact me, I’m always here to help out where I can. 

Until then, remember….

Be kind to yourself.