Legacy.

Why is it so important to us that we leave a legacy?

Losing a loved one recently has me asking this question. However, I’ve found myself wondering why it’s so important.

I’ve always believed that you had to have a purpose in life and that it should affect people’s lives somehow.

As a pastor’s daughter, I struggled to find my purpose. I loved listening to my dad’s stories of the people he met, and the lives he’s changed. But like most children who grow up with such a huge role model, I struggled to find where I fit in in this world.

There are times that question means more to me than it does today, as I write this. I wish I knew why though. I’m struggling to understand it.

I need to unpack it a little. What is a legacy? Is it just a bloodline? Leaving children behind, raising them right, and therefore leaving a part of yourself behind to continue? Or is it a reputation? Working for something, and building a reputation that involves notoriety? Is it a role that involves changing someone’s life? Having an impact on the community? Or lastly, is it a financial legacy involving a foundation of some sort, or something to that effect?

Why do we feel it’s important to leave one behind? Why do we hold so much stock into whether we are remembered once we leave?

For how long will the memory last? If you are a big name, someone in Hollywood maybe, you might get 50 years. Longer if you’re lucky. And honestly, you’d have to be a top-notch celebrity to be remembered long after 50 years, let’s be honest.

But that still doesn’t stop us from wanting to leave a legacy behind though, does it?

There are days I don’t care whether I’m remembered or not. And I think that is linked to my mental health though. Because when I start thinking down that path, it can be related to feeling like I don’t matter.

When I feel like I’m making a change for the better, I think maybe I will have a legacy to leave behind.

So, this is how and why I started asking myself why it matters.

I guess what it comes down to is whether or not we feel like we’ve achieved something or not. That we’ve reached our purpose in life.

I recently lost my grandfather. The last of my grandparents that were alive. As I attended the funeral, a real celebration of a life lived to the fullest, I found myself asking this same question again.

He and my Nanna leave pieces of themselves behind in their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. I have seen that these last few days surrounded by family.

There are pieces of my grandparents that live on through the ones they leave behind. The little sayings, life philosophy, our genes, the pieces are small but they are there.

Grief can and does do different things to us. And as I’m going through those stages of grief, I’m starting to feel a small amount of hope. I wondered if there would be anything about who I am left behind in my legacy. Now, I know it to be true as I can see my grandparents’ legacy left behind in their loved ones. I understand that it doesn’t have to be grand because I enjoyed seeing my grandparents through my Mum and Dad, my brothers and sisters, and the grandchildren. I’ve realized above all else that’s pretty important, and enough.

As I continue to build my legacy, I know I will face the ups and downs of grief. That’s unavoidable. But hopefully, now, I won’t feel like I’m lost, and I will feel strength in who I am and what I’ll leave behind one day.

If you are grieving, I hope you know you aren’t alone. If you want an understanding of grief and what all the stages are, I’ve written a blog about it which might help. I know I’ll refer to it to help me get through mine.

If you need to reach out, feel free to contact me, I’m always here to help out where I can.

Until next time, remember…

Be kind to yourself x